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"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up."

Arthur Koestler 

Entries in Parody (38)

Sunday
Dec252011

The 12 Days of Fascism

Shamelessly stolen from Robert Hawes

On the first day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
The status of detainee.

On the second day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

On the third day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

On the fourth day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Four no-fly lists,
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

On the fifth day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Five waterboards,
Four no-fly lists,
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

On the sixth day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Six FEMA coffins,
Five waterboards,
Four no-fly lists,
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

On the seventh day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Seven TSA gropings,
Six FEMA coffins,
Five waterboards,
Four no-fly lists,
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

On the eighth day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Eight secret courts,
Seven TSA gropings,
Six FEMA coffins,
Five waterboards,
Four no-fly lists,
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

On the ninth day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Nine endless wars,
Eight secret courts,
Seven TSA gropings,
Six FEMA coffins,
Five waterboards,
Four no-fly lists,
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

On the tenth day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Ten healthcare mandates,
Nine endless wars,
Eight secret courts,
Seven TSA gropings,
Six FEMA coffins,
Five waterboards,
Four no-fly lists,
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

On the eleventh day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Eleven tasers tasing,
Ten healthcare mandates,
Nine endless wars,
Eight secret courts,
Seven TSA gropings,
Six FEMA coffins,
Five waterboards,
Four no-fly lists,
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee..

On the twelfth day of fascism,
Obama gave to me:
Twelve markets crashing,
Eleven tasers tasing,
Ten healthcare mandates,
Nine endless wars,
Eight secret courts,
Seven TSA gropings,
Six FEMA coffins,
Five waterboards,
Four no-fly lists,
Three raw milk raids,
Two sneak-peek searches,
And the status of detainee.

Friday
Dec232011

Even Game Show Hosts Can Cut The Budget! 

While I do not agree with the end of the EPA, I found this video amusing. Note that I am advocating cuts 10 times this large-at the minimim. 

Sunday
Dec182011

Would You, Could You, Vote For Paul?

Saturday
Dec172011

Pray For Our Troops?

I realize that this will not be well recieved. 

"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle — be Thou near them! With them, in spirit, we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it — for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen."

-- From Mark Twain's War Prayer.

This was written during the propaganda mania surrounding the Spanish American War. I have prayed for our troops, but not this prayer. Jesus in the Bible passage I will quote next is not advocating pacifism; there is such a thing as a just war. It is just difficult to reconcile the Bible with the modern American War Machine. At the very least, Jesus is here advocating avoiding conflict. Can we listen to what He is saying? As the book of Revelation tells us: "Do we have ears to hear what the Spirit is saying to the church?" 

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Love for Enemies

    43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Sunday
Dec112011

I Endorse Romney

I know I said that I would never vote for a person who wore secret, magical, religious underware. However the combination of Romney's relatively good budget program and this impressive video has changed my mind. 

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